Party Planning Problems SOLVED!

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Dear Apartments.com,
I am so upset about my recent attempt at throwing my roommate a surprise birthday party. People came that weren’t invited and some brought three guests instead of one. Our apartment is a pretty good size so I wasn’t concerned about space until people started walking in by the dozens! People were stuffed into every nook and cranny and I’m glad the fire department didn’t show up because we were surely causing a major fire hazard. How can I avoid having so many people jammed into my apartment in the future? Isn’t there some sort of RSVP etiquette that should be followed?

Thanks,
Stuffed in San Antonio, Texas

Dear Stuffed,
Of course there is an RSVP etiquette for parties but that all depends on what you put on your invitations, IF you had invitations…. With years of party planning under my belt, I’ve made many, many mistakes. To help you avoid some of my boo boos, here’s a couple of rules to follow to make inviting less stressful:

• ALWAYS send invitations.
• Indicate who the party is for.
• Be clear on the invitation where the party is being held and include directions.
• Include the time the party is starting and if you don’t want people staying all night, indicate an end time.
• Be specific with your RSVP instructions. Do NOT say something like “regrets only, call (333)333-3333”. Tell your invitees the exact date they need to RSVP by and give yourself a week or more before the party for that date. Since people usually wait until the last minute to RSVP, if you request “regets only” or don’t give yourself enough time before the party, you’ll be running around like a chicken with your head cut off trying to figure out how much food and beverages you should have ready. Traditionally, when an invitation is sent out, it is intended for the invitee only. (If you have a party again and invite the same group of people that busted your surprise party, you may want to consider adding on your invite, “invitation extends to addressee only”.) If you don’t mind the invitee bringing a guest or two, address the invitation “John Doe & guest”. Provide your invitees a way to contact you regarding their intentions. If you provide a phone number, make sure there is an answering message on that line. If you only provide an email address, you better make sure that everyone that you invite has an email account.

If you find yourself with more guests than expected again, and you’ve followed the invitation guidelines above, you’ll really need to stand up and take control of the situation. Approach the party-goer that has brought all the additional people and tell him/her that you did not expect that he/she would bring this amount of people. Explain that you will be running out of food and beverages as a result and kindly ask the guest if he would be able to run to the store and pick up some additional items. If you want to take it a step further, ask the person to leave. After all, it is your home, your party and it is rude to not follow invitation protocol. Don’t let this problem guest take advantage of your hospitality!

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