Proper Party Etiquette
- If you’re planning to make your standard, late, appearance at a party, think again. Although people often don’t like to be the first one at a party, all attempts should be made to arrive at the time indicated on the invitation. This is a “must” for more formal events like showers, weddings, anniversary parties etc. Arrival time is a little more lax with more casual get togethers. However, imagine how it feels to invite guests to a party that should start at 7:00 pm and no one shows until 8. Pretty depressing.
- Remember that your host/hostess has a home full of guests. Don’t get offended if they don’t spend a great deal of time with you and don’t try to monopolize their time.
- Don’t ask for a tour of your host/hostess’ home. Wait for them to offer.
- If you are invited to a wedding and you can not attend, you should still send a gift.
- If you’ve heard that you have up until a year after a wedding to send a gift, chock that one up to “urban legend” status. A wedding gift is given to celebrate the wedding, not the first anniversary. A wedding gift should be given as close to the actual date of the wedding as possible. Not giving a gift is utterly unacceptable.
- If you would like to bring a host/hostess gift, only do so if the invitation did not indicate “no gifts”. Don’t expect for your gift to be opened on the spot, as your host/hostess will be preoccupied with many other things.
- Don’t make yourself too comfortable in your host/hostess’ home. This means, don’t rifle through their CD or DVD collections, don’t thumb through books (unless they are on the coffee table) and no matter what you do, NEVER NEVER NEVER go into their closets, drawers or medicine cabinets.
- If you are invited to a wedding and the invitation states “you and a guest”, assume that no other people, including your children, are invited. Do not RSVP for anyone else in your party unless the invitation officially stated their names. Do not assume it will be okay to bring ten of your closest friends. It won’t be okay.
- Don’t leave your cups, bottles, plate, napkins or other garbage lying around. Odds are, there are trash receptacles at the party. Put your garbage where it belongs. In the same vein, don’t place cups or glasses on furniture without a coaster. Treat your host/hostess’ home as you would like guests to treat your own.
- If you stay late at a party, offer to help clean up. Don’t assume that your host/hostess wants your help. Don’t touch appliances that don’t belong to you. One Apartments.com staffer had the unfortunate situation of a well-meaning guest putting dish soap, made for washing dishes in the sink, in the dishwasher and turning it on. That’s a mess.
- When you leave the party, your host/hostess should walk you to the door. Do not engage them in a lengthy conversation when you’re leaving as there is a good probability that there are other guests that need to be attended to.
When you’re the guest of honor:
- If your guests bring you a gift, no matter the occasion, a thank you note should be sent. These should be sent out within 2 weeks of your event. The only exception to this rule is for a wedding, as no one expects you to send thank you notes from your honeymoon. (However, some avid thank you card writers we know have done this!) A personal pet peeve is when a check is cashed before a thank you card is received. The thinking here is if the recipient had time to cash the check, that person should have had time to send a note. Don’t wait for months. Send out your notes as early as you can after the wedding.
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