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Roommate Problems Solved – Letters from Readers Answered

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Dear Apartments.com,
Okay, I have a question about a roommate problem. See, Joe* is a great guy, I haven’t had any problems at all with him since he’s moved in. He does his share of the dishes, gives me privacy with my girlfriend when I need it, he even helps with my cat. But there’s one thing that he does that’s just driving me nuts. He snores. I don’t mean like normal snoring either, I mean, inhaling the ceiling, I can hear it through the walls; it wakes the neighbors, kind of snoring. I feel bad for the guy and like I said, he’s great to room with but I just can’t take it anymore. It’s been about three months now and I haven’t gotten a full night sleep since he moved in. Both our names are on the lease and I’m not really sure what to do.

Thanks,
Sleepless in Sandwich, IL

Dear Sleepless,
Don’t move out yet because there are ways to stop this frustrating problem. Snoring results when air flow is restricted. This can happen for a variety of reasons including being overweight, smoking, drinking alcohol before sleep, allergies, illness or excessive fatigue. At a time when you are alone with your roommate and you are both relaxed, tell Joe that you have something that concerns you that you’d like to talk to him about. If you keep the focus on the concern you have for him versus its annoyance to you, you’re more likely to get him to respond. Tell him you’ve done some research and know what causes snoring and let him decide which of these problems are causing the issue. Give him a chance to respond and try to change some of his behaviors, such as drinking less or getting more sleep. In the meantime, be grateful for your roommate because he sounds like a great guy. Remember that nobody is perfect!

Dear Apartments.com,
My roommate is a pig. She eats like crazy. Potato chips in the seats of MY sofa. Ice cream spills on the carpet. The oven is a mess, there’s oil splatter all over the walls from her homemade fried chicken. She makes me so mad, I tried to ask her nicely to clean up after herself but she says that she pays half the rent too and if she wanted to have someone nag at her she would have stayed home with her mommy. It’s getting really bad because I found a huge pile of ants in the corner of the cupboard the other day. I’m afraid the landlord is going to find out and I really don’t like to think of these bugs crawling around on me at night.
HELP!!
Creepy Crawly in Crumb, TX

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STRESSED AND AND ABOUT TO LOOSE IT


Dear Apartments.com,
I am in desperate needed of advise. About a month ago I moved out with a friend and her roomate. We moved into a 3 bedroom appartment with two bathrooms.
Prior to asking my friend and her roomate if they would move out with me (my old living arrangements changed). My friend told me to ask her roommate if she’d move and if she said yes she would move. I asked her…she said yes.
I told them my concerns about my OCD problems and that they are messy and cluttery. We discussed who would get what rooms…I offered to flip for the rooms to make it fair. I was told that we didn’t want to make a big deal of it. So okay. I offerd to do laundry to get the masterbedroom with the bathroom attached. I was told that it wasn’t necessary. ANd rooms were chosen.
Then we talked about parking. THere is a garadge, spot behind the garadge, and the other someone would have to park in the guest parking. Since she chose a room…her choice…that she would get the garadge. So one latenight I came home and there were no parking spots open. I parked by the garadge. She came home at 4am and woke me up to move my car. To only park where I was until 630am.
So everything we discussed was thrown in my face. The roomate came home one afternoon after a day at the bar with a friend. She came home making comments under her breath. She then started to yell at my friend outside on the porch. We told her that this wasn’t the time and place to YELL at us. She continued to yell while neighbors watched on and went inside to get away from the noise.
Now that we are in the place she hates her room and its not big enough. While I dont have as much things as her. She thinks I should give her my room. Its not my fault that I am oganized and have things stored at my parents. So does my friend. Now I am selfish and rude.
Ohh I forgot to add this. A week before we moved in she fell asleep behind the wheel and drove into a ditch. She messed up her back. So on moving weekend she watched us do everything. She had two guys to help with the big stuff. That’s it. She expected me and my friend to do all of her stuff. Am I wrong to say its your responability to move your own stuff when you move? To get your own friends to help you if you cant? So why did she think my friends helping me should help her? No they were there to help me. Then she brings her mom into it. So moving day I am in a house where the roomate and her mom are talking crap about what I am doing.
So its a month later and her snooty attitude hasn’t changed since day one. I dread going home to her. I feel like I am not getting any rest. I shouldn’t feel like that in my own home.
So the roomate is making the living areas that we share a mess and hasn’t cleaned anything in the house from day one. We started not to clean up after her. SO now we have dishes on the counter that have been there for a week. Ohh but she gets jealous that me and my friend were cleaning together…are you serious…get off you butt and you can help. But no she got up went into her room huffing that were bonding together and were against her. We were cleaning I didnt know that that is something to get mad about.
Instead of coming to me with any issues she has she tells my friend. Which she shouldnt be brought into it if the problem is with me. Just because I wont give her the bed room that I am in.
She is now complaing that I am loud and I neglect my dog. I didnt know that I had to tip toe around the house when shes home. I mind to myself and hang out in my room. I dont know that hanging in my room that I can be so loud. Then about my dog. Was very disrespectful to talk about how I treat my dog. Yes shes in the cage while I am at work…ohh no. Then My dog is with me all hours that I am home. My dog is very hyper and requires alot of attention. I didnt know locking your dog up while your not home is neglect. Or is it?
I know that this is rambled but it the best I could spit it out. Please let me know what should be the mature way to approach it? I want to be the adult that is isn’t being!
Thank you

 
miserable


I signed a lease with a Roommate in March, but after signing came across a great deal to buy a home. After expressing my interest to the seller, I decided to bring it up to my roommate. I asked if she would have a problem releasing me from the lease and I figure she should qualify for the apartment on her own. I explained to her I am waiting for the seller to come in town, so we can put a contract 2gether. Since I will be purchasing the home, “as is”, I will need to some work done to it. She is now rushing me out, saying I am putting her in a strain. She didn’t have a roommate b4 & cld me & I tld her this wld be temp. HELP

 
TERESA BOERS


KICK HER LAZY BUTT TO THE CURB .MAYBE FIRST FIND A REPLACMENT THEN OUT SHE GOES.YOU NEED TO FEEL COMFORTABLE IN YOUR HOME AT ANY COST. ALWAYS LOOK FOR GIVERS NOT TAKERS AND SHE SOUNDS LIKE A TAKER.WHO DIED AND LEFT HER QUEEN?

 
Nancy


I have a problem. I rent a room to a 21 year old female. I’m 48. Since moving in, she has had her boyfriend at the house 24/7. I never get to relax or lay around in my nightgown. He doesn’t do anything around the house, just bathes, washes his clothes and eats and sleeps. I need more privacy. Is it unreasonable to want her to limit his visits?

Bonnie


Did you rent to the both of them or just to her? It sounds like you rented just to her. Try talking to her, stating that you’d appreciate a couple days notice when he’s going to be there and for how long. It’s YOUR home and you have a right to say who comes and goes. My friend had a similar problem but her room-mate drank excessively every night and she doesn’t so when this room-mates lease was up, they drew up a new one that indicates no alcohol or over-night guests. Why can’t she stay at HIS place for awhile?

 
 
Barbara West


You guys have problems alright. Try living in an apt.where maintance comes in at will and takes stuff but always leaves something to show they were there. There’s a woman who has tryed to break in twice.Ihave recognized her voice. Have called police 3 times. There’s nothing they can do without proof. I even had an alarm system installed and they have learned to override it. All this is keyed entry. I also tryed camera. They found it and trashed the video.
I can’t afford to pay more rent but am looking. Any more ideas than this

 
Trisha


To Barbara I say that one day you park your car at a friend’s and have them bring you home after dark. Then sneak into your apartment and keep the lights off so you can catch them. Wait in your room with a bat a when you hear someone going through your things, run in there with your bat and beat the living s** out of them and while they’re saying there get on the phone with the police and tell them you have a burgular in your home!
P.S every time the trespasser moves hit their a** again! After this you
should never have a problem with them breaking in again!

 
jen


yes I have this girl who has stayed with us often on mostly she would be here to babysssit my two kids.than one day she decied she didnt want to baysit them both my husband and I were at work she called my mom and said you better get down here or I will leave them here .well we kicked her out of course she has had 5days to pick up her stuff she came yesterday got some of it demanded her waher dyer back that she gave to me 7months ago .she still has com back to get her stuff the cops have been involved ,the cop told me after yesterday it would be crimnal tresspassing.she told me this moring they told no it wouldnt be.

 
Venus


I have had a really bad run since I moved to Boston. 4 out of 6 of my roommates have been headcases. One kept insisting I was sneaking into her room when she wasn’t home, the second was paranoid schizophrenic and I had to take a restraining order out on her, the third never paid bills and left me with $1000 in debt (now I have to go to small claims court), and the fourth commited suicide. How do you spot crazy roommates? What kind of questions should I be asking during the interview process? Maybe my apartment is just cursed.

julz


one thing i have learnd is its really hard to spot the crazies cause they usually don’t know them selves. im a crazy magnet, sounds like you may be one too. i think questions like, do you have a group of close friends and about there past roommates. if they have a lot of past roommates that they don’t know what the problem was but they left suddenly or they have never had a roommate that stayed with them chances are they are crazy. crazies, i find go though friends fast thats why i would ask. also your land lord can request background and credit checks so you can see if they pay there bills or have a history.

 
 
Dave


I moved into a room in an apartment 2 months ago. My roommate said he only smoked pot occasionally and had a good job. Shortly after moving he quit his job and smoked pot excessivly. I am not on the lease but we had an agreement on handwritten paper that I would be there 6 months. I moved out after 2 months and he is threatening to sue. He would also have drug friends over and crashing all the time. Can he sue me and win even with his illegal activity?

Mary


The only way to prove you had good reason to move out, is to have him arrested for drugs. Call the cops if he drives under the influence and has any on him. Also was this agreement notorized? If you just moved out I doubt he would actually do anything. Also get a friend to witness the situation that would testify in court, if neccesary.

 
karreem


kick his ass out straight up ok im looking for a room right this minute

 
 
anna bicking


dear apartment.com, i was wondering i live with my boyfriend at echelon towers, if we get married can they tell us to leave sign anna bicking

 
Makeda


Hello,
I rented a 2bdroom roommate style apartment with a “friend” of mine. 2 months into the lease, I realized I had made a mistake. I patiently awaited the day the lease will be over. I have moved out of state, and I have paid my part of the rent until our last day. I come to find out that she has not made her part of the payment. The other day, the apartment people sent me a letter stating that they had to replace a carpet (the carpets in my room and the general areas are fine) so I’m thinking it could be hers. They have already applied our security deposits. What do I do about her part and the carpet? HELP!!

 
Jaime


I don’t know what to do. A few months ago I moved in with a friend of mine from high school. We were really good friends in high school but rarely kept in touch afterwards. Now, I’m finding out she is a totally different person. She smokes marajuana in the house with her friends. Constantly is making all kinds of noise. Never takes out any trash or does any dishes when both are primarily hers and her friends because I work second shift. I can’t figure out what to do. I want to move out but I can’t figure out how. And I haven’t been able to work up the nerve to tell her to get out because we are both in the lease help

 
Meg


I rent a room from a home owner. I recently adopted a cat, which he said was okay. The cat has a behavior problem: he meows almost constantly at night. He asked me to keep the cat sequestered in my room at night, and I complied. Now he is telling me I have to get rid of the cat. I don’t believe in adopting an animal, and then giving up and throwing it out. So I told him no. I am afraid he is going to kick me out now. Does he have a legal right to do so?

 
Darling


I am renting with 2 old friends. Me female them male. One of whome I get along with 95% of the time and the other who is the most pathetic stubborn person I’ve ever had to live with. His girl is disrespecting the two of us and somehow that is our problem. I went to him expressing my feelings and he accused me of gossiping. Yes I should talk to her about it at some point, but I figured on approaching him first since he brings her over and he is my friend. My other roomie confronted her. She spent the next hour talking about how she felt threatened. Now my other roommate and I are the bad guys. Bros before Hos.

 
Kristen


My question is my grandparents moved out of there house and built a new house well I asked them if i could move into there old house and rent it from them they said sure. So there was just a verbal rental agreement between me andmy grandparents. Well I had some friends move in with me and they did not sign a rental agreemet and my grandparents did not have a verbal agreement with them. Well anyways they just did a lot of damage to the house holes in walls breaking doors breaking my belongings and disrespecting my grandparents thowing there junk all over the front lawn. Not paying utills. And going into my room without my permission and ripping cables jacks out of the walls. My grandparents told them to leave and they havent yet they were supposed to be out last night and are still not out. since they have nothing in writing and did my grandparents did not have a verbal agreement with them is there anything my family can do?

 


i not going to a get rom they bee so annyning

 
 

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