Coping with Loneliness
It’s been three weeks since you moved into your new place. For the first couple days, it was a blessing to spend all your evenings at home alone since unpacking and making your place feel like home was your priority. But the last few nights you’ve actually dreaded leaving work. You knew you’d be coming home to an empty apartment, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You’ve tried watching television, surfing the net and have even checked out some chat rooms in an attempt to meet new people. Yet as the evening winds down, you realize that this is the way life’s gonna be for the next year at least. You’re lonely, and it’s the worst feeling you’ve ever felt because you can’t do anything to fix it. Is this the way it will be forever? Don’t despair, there are ways of coping with it!
Moving can be quite the let-down. There’s all this excitement about the big bedroom and the happening “hood” and there’s so much to do—packing, unpacking, hanging up pictures—and suddenly it’s all over and you find yourself sitting in a big, empty apartment with no one to talk to about your day. How did this happen?
Loneliness happens to virtually everyone at one point or another in life. Loneliness is something you have control over and just because you’re by yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to be lonely.
Consider the definition of “lonely”:
Lonely (adj.) 1. separated from others 2. marked by dejection from being alone 3. enjoyed or performed alone 4. lacking companions
“Lonely” does not mean “sadly consuming excess amounts of rocky road” or “drowning your sorrows in white zinfandel.” It simply means you are not with others and are either feeling dejected or enjoying the time alone. Aha! Being lonely can actually be seen as an enjoyable experience, depending on your perspective and what you choose to do with that free time. Read on for ways to enjoy your time alone and make new friends.
Take a self-inventory: Make a list of the things you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time. Perhaps you always wanted to write a non-fiction novel or take up long-distance running. Anything is within reach now that you have this time to yourself! Set goals just as you would at work or school. You may even want to give yourself a deadline for writing a certain number of pages or achieving a certain distance. This will make your alone time more meaningful and productive.
Reach out to others: Giving your time to others in need is a sure way to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Consider taking on a little brother or sister through the Boys and Girls Club, tutor at a community center or even organize your own collection drive. Knowing that someone else depends on you will make you feel more a part of your community.
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